You Couldn't Make it up

Well here it is 2013. We haven’t posted for a couple of weeks. So happy New Year reader.

Now to business; things are difficult. You may be thinking straight away “cold feet”. You’d be right it’s been cold, and at this time of year the thought of going off travelling seems a thousand years away. However things are awry with our plan in ways that are almost impossible to comprehend or believe.

We are in the land of “you couldn’t make it up”. On Saturday morning January 19^th 2013 (at around 3am to be precise), a stolen vehicle driven by a drunk driver, plus a passenger lost control of their stolen Ford Ka and ploughed into the rear offside of the motorhome. Yes you read that right. Pictures below.

 

I haven’t written it up before now because we’ve been playing the waiting game with the insurance company ... thus far they have been awkward. And I’m only forgiving them because of the severe weather and the volume of snow related incidents they are dealing with.

 

We are in total limbo, the damage to the rear underside of the chassis is extensive, however the entire rear extension to the chassis that supports the habitation unit drops off with fourteen bolts. The lighting cluster is made of fibreglass and is a bolt on unit as is the Safe T Bar, which is another extension to the chassis extension, and includes the tow hook. There is no damage to the floor, the gas system, new toilet, kitchen, plumbing or shower. So that’s all within certain parameters repairable or replaceable dependent on availability of parts ... and we know a man who breaks them www.no1gear.com mentioned variously elsewhere.

 

The rear may not be the problem. It’s the front that’s the bone of contention. Our vehicle was forced forward some eight feet, but of course our neighbours car was parked just three or four feet in front of the motorhome and they like us being keen campers have a tow hook. Our front bumper was cleaved in two like an Orcs head before the Axe of Gimli. This has resulted in a significant creased ding in the main front chassis cross member. This cross member supports the radiator and all its paraphernalia. I once wrecked a Smart Roadster and know that the chassis will, with a little heat pull out (none of the radiator parts or fans are damaged), but the ding is deep. On the nearside where the suspension leg bubble/bulkhead rises from the main monocoque of the cab, there is a split in the skin. The split may just be sound proofing but I think it’s the metal (I’m not an engineer I can’t be sure). The split may be weldable, however it does speak of lateral shock to the front suspension leg and the steering gear that links in down there below.

 

And now we come to not knowing what’s going on. The severe weather means that Direct Line is swamped with claims for all sorts, all their assessors are busy, and our vehicle hasn’t even been looked at yet, in spite of a number of calls to move things along. So we have no idea whether they will write it off or repair it. In our motorhomes favour, is the fact that it’s in very good nick all round, and has been renovated internally, and the fact that it is a “no fault claim” and all repairs will be covered . Against it is its age and the expertise of the person doing the assessing.

 

Aside from this the police have not compiled a report yet as the RTC status of the incident is likely to become a criminal matter due to a list of motoring offences as long as your arm committed by the driver and passenger.

 

Aside from our own problems, we were told by the police at the scene that the girl (who may have been driving) was found between two parked cars opposite our home. I must explain that I was wearing earplugs, so while I did hear a bang I didn’t register it as significant. The girl had been dragged from the car by the male person (again we have no further details from the police as to whether he was passenger or not), her injuries include a broken leg, a broken pelvis, a deep cut to the face, and possibly an eye injury. The male realised that the girl couldn’t make it and did the decent thing and abandoned her on the ground, in minus 2.5 degree cold with snow falling.

 

We were not alone in not realising something was up. No one woke up, and the only reason that the girl was saved, was because the Port Of Tilbury Police were doing a drive through the town, round to the cruise terminal, they spotted the vehicle lit but parked oddly and decided to have a closer look.

So there we are, up a gum tree, in limbo, on hold. We’ll post when we have more news. One must say that we have numerous plans in place for every eventuality these will form a separate post.

Last Post for 2012

Goodbye 2012, hello 2013 ... who’d have thought it? We are rolling up to ten months from the date that we decided to do the off and go travelling, and on this mild very windy day in December, our start day could be a million years from now, or so it feels.

Since I last posted we’ve done pretty much nothing about anything, except bare preparations for Christmas and just getting through to the New Year and hopefully a house buying prospect that actually has a mortgage.

The most we’ve done in terms of pro-active preparation, is basic vehicle maintenance, winterisation, Redexing the fuel, complete coolant/antifreeze change and doing the weekly engine turnover drive (twenty odd miles of mixed roads to exercise the engine and clutch, that likes to seize if left too long). I also acquired hundreds of bags of Silica Desiccant from a colleague at work who mends the huge Canon print stations around our several buildings, and have distributed them liberally throughout every internal space in the motorhome to ensure as much moisture is trapped as possible. I think I may have found two small points of moisture ingress, however as soon as spring arrives and I have a little warmth (mostly to allow silicon’s to cure correctly) these will be dealt with.

And so now we inch towards January, a bit sluggish from being cooped up for a week or two due to Amanda having the worst case of conjunctivitis I’ve ever seen (I really didn’t appreciate how serious it could get), this followed by flu (that’s proper flu not man flu or a heavy cold), and of course the sloth of Christmas.

Personally; until Christmas Eve I’ve had my best winter in four years, and have been swimming at St Georges pool on the highway twice a week, and walking miles in my spare time, which has been sparse due to the volume of overtime I did throughout October and November ... Overtime? There was a time when the hours put in over the last few weeks would have rolled up to a small fortune. In truth, it still did on paper. However the recession has made the onward value of the hours I worked pretty much pedestrian. We’ve effectively paid for Christmas and no more ... not even a few coopers for the sales or motorhome tweaks.
 
So that’s it ... no boom, no crescendo, 2012 ends on a damp windy squib ... at least the world didn’t end ... sounds miserable. But I’m sitting here with a rye grin and half and eye on a program touting the virtues of the Great British Staycation. The sun always shines on TV, it’s already on the rise, that’s what happened on the 21st of December Precession, Solstice the start of summer 2013.

Happy New Year when it rolls over. We’ll be Back in January.

Soon Be Christmas

Not much of a post, more of a, we’re still here and thinking about things, and waiting patiently for some sort of news or movement. We’ve had our third potential bite on the house sale, and this one actually looks promising, the first was an investor and wanted to offer silly money. The second was a slightly dippy couple, he seemed interested, she not in the slightest bit. The third is a single lady, first time buyer, looking to move out of the inner ring of suburbia. We live in hope.

The weather is too cold or too wet to tinker with the motorhome, so the Trim Project is in abeyance; couple that with me working every weekend for the last five weeks and the time has gone. I did four weeks of 4am starts which was a killer, and meant that the Fridays that I don’t work was a total loss as all I did was catch up on sleep. The plus side of all this is that we’ve had a few extra pennies at a time when they are most needed.

There is light at the end of this particular tunnel, I think I have five days off at the start of December (I think that’s next week), so while the day light hours are short, I have five of them soon and of course, once the door panels are off. Then the remaking and re-covering is a sit at the dinner table and tinker job.

We had the Brakes sorted out for the MOT, and we can say that the motorhome is winterised, all except an Anti-Freeze and engine fluids check, but I hope to get these bits done next weekend. I hope to do a bit more writing of my first attempt at a novel.

I’ve been, doing mini biographies for the characters to remind me of what I’ve been thinking about them and their interactions for the future. This is because I can’t write consistently. To define: I can’t write consistently; I mean I don’t get to meet my muse at times to suit both of us ... our calendars are not synchronised. I work ... it doesn’t therefore it can come up with fantastic ideas while I’m in the middle of racking a server, or cooking the dinner. I do have gadgets such as the good old fashioned pen and pad, a Dictaphone, even voice recording on the phone. But then getting a clear period of time to rationalise and write from snippets isn’t easy.

Neal Asher, whose blog I follow, tries to write two thousand words a day, and usually succeeds. I’m lucky if I can manage two hundred, though on my best days I can knock out five thousand or more. However that five thousand will come from three or four weeks of bare notes and reminders. Neal Asher is a successful SciFi novelist, so maybe I’m setting my aspirational bar WAY WAY too high for this early in my fantasy career, but a target is a target and this one is as good as another.

Does Blogging eat some of that writing time? I guess so, but then there is the fact that if your thought bucket is overflowing with minutiae, you end up with head clutter. That’s why this post is a ramble ... a mental comfort break.

I’m going to cook the dinner.

PS: The Sloe Gin is looking very red and fine.

PPS: If you're Neal Asher and you read this. Thanks for the target, and all the tips.

No News is No News.

This last week has seen us being miserable, anxious and generally irritable. It’s not a great time of year, with the clocks going back, and daylight hours being restricted to that portion of the day you have to spend inside at work. The only people to view the house couldn’t be arsed to give the estate Agent feedback; we assume that’s the last we’ll hear from them.

Time wasters, I reckon they are at least thirty percent of footfall, based on previous sales. Now we need the other sixty percent to come knocking, and we are now counting down the days to the opening up the sale to other estate agents.

In terms of planning options, we are currently in suck it and see mode. We’ll know what we are doing next when the market moves. If the market moves?

On the up side we had a really great time on Saturday at London fields Lido (the last heated open air pool in London) and we plan on going as often as possible through the winter months … well just because why not? And we now know what we are aiming to do on Boxing Day.

Picture courtesy of the Guardian Newspaper (you can't take your own ... people get cross and call the police).

http://www.better.org.uk/leisure/london-fields-lido/

Other than these gems, I think posts will slow down over the next few weeks as the urge to hibernate takes hold, albeit with the odd interlude for a couple of motorhome jobs I need to get done (as per earlier post), and any posts arising based on the success or failure of said jobs.

TTFN then.

PS: The Sloe Gin is coming along fine.

Plans B, C and D etc

From day one we had to have a fallback position in case something happened that properly prevented us from going travelling when we plan in March next year. I think on balance the fates have made it as tough as they can ... the bastards. And the date is probably slipping even as I type.

It was such a simple plan. Tidy up existing motorhome, sell house, have a positively Bohemian summer, a change of era Christmas and new year, stick two fingers up at the rat race for a couple of years, travel far and wide. Return wiser and with greater understanding of our fellow man ... also appreciate that while the land of foreign is nice and warm, south of Dover they are generally feckless indolents looking for hand outs and somewhere to nap ... or to fuck your missus while you’re scouring the bars looking for a good English Breakfast. I jest of course, I don’t eat English Breakfast in the land of foreign; I eat foreign so the foreigners can’t point their, Frog, Spic, Phlegm, Wop, Bubble or Dago fingers at me and say I’m not cultured or multi cultural ... init matey peeps (the management apologises for the narrators slide into abusive  names for the residents of greater Europe).

It’s not much to ask is it? Where in this simple to conceptualize, relatively easy under normal circumstances to execute plan was there a clause desired by any of the travelling parties, to make the entire enterprise as complicated, expensive and as mentally and physically draining as it has become? Did we assume too much? Did we forget we were in a recession? Or did we just invite all the bad luck in the world into our lives by dreaming a little bit bigger and brighter than people like us should (whatever “people like us” are)?

I’ve climbed a few of life’s mountains in my time, I’ve stared down some pretty harsh odds and some harsh times associated with those odds. And while at the time I may have twisted and writhed on hooks of mental agony and anger (multiple spinal surgeries, a horrific divorce from a vengeful harpy, almost without peer ... other deep shit). I like to think each time I’ve come out the other side a bit wiser and stronger. And with no small amount of time, I can look back and make light, almost see a retrospective cause and affect ... some may call that twenty twenty hindsight with rose tinted glasses (well they will if they ever read this and pick up on the phrase). And most important of all I’ve regained my sense of humour ... had I not? I don’t like to think about “had I not” it goes to places one shouldn’t contemplate very often, or for very long.

I think I’m tough mentally, and I know how to roll on the ropes, and Amanda is likewise tough in all the right places, but also has the one thing I lack in my makeup. Amanda can forgive herself her mistakes and move on. This is useful, because she can also point out that I’m beating myself up, and that I don’t actually need to ... after all nobody died ... yet.

Anyway enough of the maudlin; we had to have a plan B, a plan C, and a D, though in fairness C and D didn’t become official until September when we realised the year was running out.

Plan B

Rent out house in Essex, it makes no money but it loses nothing either (it becomes self sustaining in terms of mortgage and insurance). Move back to Somerset for cleaner air, slower pace of life. Wait for recession to pass, then sell house then go travelling. Plan B is the path of least resistance, it gives us back the breathing and planning space we lost to damp works both in the motorhome and the house, but does still have the disadvantage of moving us to Somerset in a state of unemployment and no guarantee of grabbing any kind of job straight away. So it’s a plan, but not as a good a plan as plan A.

Plan C

Sell house in Essex at lowest possible value to progress plan A (Plan A is “Go Travelling” ... it’s only once you look at the details its gets complicated). Plan C has a revision of the original: go travelling for eighteen months up to two years plan. Instead of going for two years, just go for one year, and don’t take a significant break in Cyprus for four months from October 2013 until early March 2014. Just go solidly for one year, but far more thoroughly in and around the Mediterranean coast of Europe in the relative warmth during the winter months, then in spring make a bee line for Norway for early summer. And finally back to blighty for the East of England leg.

The trade off is that the equity from the property is going to have to be spent as support for the entire venture (minus paying back what we’ve spent from existing funds to pay for repairs both at home and in the motorhome ... it’s a chunk). However with plan C, there is unlikely to be the opportunity to get odds and sods of work to offset the cost, however the benefit is that all your time is your own. Plan C has merits; one that we maybe overlooked is that by doing one year of solid travel, we can leave later in 2013. The optimal months for late departure are end of April through to the end of May. This gives four months UK travel, four to five months Europe (including a drive down to Cyprus for a week or two break towards the end), and then a leisurely roll back up through Europe to Norway and then back to the UK for early to mid summer 2014, and then if we over run into late summer, early autumn and have budget for it ... who cares, we deserve it don’t we?

   

Plan D

That’s a combination of Plan B and C. And goes something like, rent house in Essex, it makes no money but it loses nothing either (it becomes self sustaining in terms of mortgage and insurance). Move back to Somerset for cleaner air, slower pace of life. The additional elements are, only work four days a week (I already do), and spend the three remaining days using Somerset as a hub to travel abroad in the UK.

I’m sure lots of people do Plan D, without all the upheaval we are putting ourselves through, and probably do it with only two day weekends, and all the other shite that goes with living pre-retirement. However in mitigation, I have to point out that the upheaval of Plans A and C actually buy a certain form of Freedom Plan D can only dream of. And both A and C have the obvious benefit of not spending money on fuel to do a journey twice I.E. going to a destination and then returning down the same route. Plan D isn’t travelling, it’s visiting in comfort ... not terrible but not the essence of adventure, and not contiguous or focused ... it’s fucking cheating and no mistake.

I can make the point (if it needs making?) this past weekend we travelled from Essex to Wiltshire and back, that is 298 miles all in, that’s £70 in fuel, only one stop (annual spooky party at our friends ... great showers, electrical hook-up and all complimentary). All well and good, but given that we don’t in an ideal world wish to travel more than thirty miles per leg of our journey, before stopping and exploring the locale on foot, on bike or local transport. 298 miles represents a potential eight or nine stops, or almost the entire length of the south coast (point to point, no wiggly bits). So you see you don’t want to come back on yourself ... it’s not efficient, dammit and that’s that.

What can I say, it’s not so much a wobble since last week, it’s more of a not knowing how things play out for the next four weeks that our first estate agent has left on their exclusivity, and then which way to jump following the end of that term. Right now we actually need to be a little bit pessimistic in spite of the move out of recession, hopes have been up, down and all around ... we’re ready ... nothing else is.

Oh I forgot Plan E

Win the Lottery or Premium bonds.